Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Humanitarian Pause, Missile Quiet Time, And Bullet Hush: How To Call For Peace In The Middle East Without Actually Meaning It

The Onion

Only Sex Education In Country Now Just Pressing Ear To Shared Wall To Hear Noises From Next Door

The Onion

41 States Sue Meta For Harmful Effects Of Social Media On Children

The Onion

Panicked-Looking Guy Shifting Uncomfortably Outside Occupied Restroom Must Really Have To Masturbate

The Onion

Widower Sobbing At Wife’s Funeral While Creating eHarmony Profile

The Onion

Scientist Explains How Climate Crisis Would Be Averted If Greta Thunberg Just Tried A Little Harder

The Onion

Rude Train Passenger Taking Up Extra Seat With Husband That Could Easily Fit On Lap

The Onion

Quiz: How Well Do You Know Gen Z Slang?

The Onion

Girlfriend Signs Couple Up For Med School

The Onion

Skydiver Ascending Directly Upwards Clearly Didn’t Listen To Instructions

The Onion

Corpses At Hospital Morgue All Given Either Little Pink Or Blue Hats

The Onion

Biden Forced To Share Airbnb With 3 Roommates While Visiting San Francisco

The Onion

Ohio 6th-Grader Forced To Give Birth Last Year Slightly Annoyed At Timing Of Abortion Ratification

The Onion

‘The Marvels’ Has Worst Opening Weekend In Franchise History

The Onion

Trump Calls Political Enemies ‘Vermin’ In Veterans Day Speech

The Onion

Men Explain Why Female-Led ‘The Marvels’ Failed

The Onion

Woman Comes Out Of Manic Episode To Discover She’s Been Elected U.S. Representative

The Onion

Dog Allowed To Eat Whatever He Wants Off The Sidewalk On His Birthday

The Onion

Dead Pigeon At Bus Stop Moved A Little Overnight

The Onion

New Suicide Prevention Campaign Encourages Teens To Wait Until They’re Middle-Aged

The Onion