Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
How The U.S. Is Resettling White South African Refugees
Claiming they are targets of genocide and discrimination, the Trump administration has granted white South Africans expedited refugee status. Here are the measures the U.S. government is taking to help resettle Afrikaners. Requiring them to prove they are causing significant hardships in their home country. Mandating a health screening on arrival completed by a state […]
The post How The U.S. Is Resettling White South African Refugees appeared first on The Onion.
Trump Grants Refugee Status To Former SS Guards
WASHINGTON—Condemning what he described as the disturbing and unjust treatment of the group, President Donald Trump granted refugee status this week to former SS guards. “The discrimination these people are facing is absolutely sick—they’re literally hunting them down,” said Trump, who greeted the small group of centenarians on the tarmac at Dulles International Airport and […]
The post Trump Grants Refugee Status To Former SS Guards appeared first on The Onion.
UFC Clown Jumps Into Octagon To Distract Irate Fighter
SEATTLE—Deftly jumping into the arena’s octagon as audience members cheered and laughed, an Ultimate Fighting Championship clown attempted Saturday to lure an irate fighter’s attention away from his fallen competitor. The lighthearted performer known as Boxo, who was dressed in brightly colored clothing with his face painted into a frown, reportedly sprang into action and began […]
The post UFC Clown Jumps Into Octagon To Distract Irate Fighter appeared first on The Onion.
Jamal Abbott and Vicente Stephens
It’s happily ever after for Abbott and Stephens, who wed in a farmhouse upstate right where they usually do the chicken sexing.
The post Jamal Abbott and Vicente Stephens appeared first on The Onion.
Strategies For Decluttering
Studies have shown that creating a neat and organized living space can reduce stress and improve mental well-being. The Onion provides helpful guidance for decluttering your home. Lure Marie Kondo into your home using an evenly spaced trail of sensible storage solutions. Assess if you really need 8,000 terracotta soldiers in your tomb. Call some […]
The post Strategies For Decluttering appeared first on The Onion.