Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

City Kid Finds Perfect Flattened Rat For Snowman Toupee

The Onion

Nation’s Strangers Announce Plans To Stand Near You

The Onion

Biden Announces Plans For Extra PlayStation 5 Controller In Case Someone Visits Nation

The Onion

Lloyd Austin Fails To Disclose He Was Buried At Arlington National Cemetery

The Onion

The Onion 5

The Onion

Michelle Obama: ‘I Am Terrified What Could Happen In 2024 If Pennywise The Clown Comes Back’

The Onion

A 21-Gun Salute To Mass Shootings: ‘The Onion’ Looks Back At Wayne LaPierre’s Time At The NRA

The Onion

Defendant In Nevada Battery Case Attacks Judge

The Onion

Americans Reveal What Biden Has To Do To Earn Their Support

The Onion

Boss Impressed By What A Friendless Loser Hardworking Employee Must Be

The Onion

Congress Reduces SNAP Benefits To One Free Treat On Recipient’s Birthday

The Onion

Father Most Present While Encouraging Children To Knock It Off

The Onion

Christians Explain Why Atheists Are Bullies

The Onion

Wound Loses Flavor After Couple Licks

The Onion

Chick-Fil-A Announces They Will Only Serve Chickens Conceived In Wedlock

The Onion

But It Client’s Birthday, Argues Public Defender

The Onion

Aunts, Marble Potholes, And The Gates Of Hell: This Week In Local News January 6, 2024

The Onion

Elon Musk, MrBeast, And More Elite Perverts: This Week In Breaking News January 6, 2024

The Onion

Honoring National Insurrection Day: ‘The Onion’ Looks Back On Jan. 6

The Onion

House Report Finds Trump’s Businesses Made Millions From Foreign Entities During Presidency

The Onion