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Nation’s Strangers Announce Plans To Stand Near You from The Onion RSS feed.

Nation’s Strangers Announce Plans To Stand Near You

MILWAUKEE—Promising to violate any and all personal space, the nation’s strangers held a press conference Tuesday to announce their plan to stand near you. “Whether it’s on the subway, in a coffee shop, at the bank, or in a park—we will closely hover around you and breathe on your neck,” said sources who asked not to…

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