Hibernation-Ready

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Giving Up Too Much Work

The Onion

• satire
•   news

ICE Taps BTK Killer To Design New Migrant Detention Center

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Nicer Shampoo Tragically Worth The Extra Money

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Derek Sanders

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Middle Schoolers Prevent Bus Crash After Driver Blacks Out

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Terrified Adolis García Wondering If Anyone Else Can See Phillie Phanatic

The Onion

•   news
• satire

There Grows The Neighborhood

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Capitol Tour Guide Keeps Pointing Out Hidden Spots With Uninterrupted Sight Lines

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Banksy Claims Credit For Latest ‘The Lockhorns’ Comic

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Lucy Hastings and Sebastián González

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Epidemiologists Confirm First Airborne Transmission Of Mar-A-Lago Face

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Taking Advantage Of Other People Was The Best Financial Decision I Ever Made

The Onion

• satire
•   news

College Vs. Trade School

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Met Gala Ends Abruptly After Anna Wintour’s Parents Get Home Early

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Spirit Airlines Resumes Business After CEO Finds Nickel On Ground

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Doctors Confirm Rudy Giuliani In Liquid But Stable Condition

The Onion

• satire
•   news

City Renames Street To Honor Charlie Kirk

The Onion

•   news
• satire

It’s Not Like You’ll Have To Pay It Off

The Onion

• satire
•   news

RFK Jr. Sucks Measles Vaccine Out Of Infant

The Onion

•   news
• satire