Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Biden Signs Executive Order To Deport All 340 Million Americans And Start From Scratch

The Onion

Study Finds Only 1 In 3 Americans Can Name Their Representative’s Corporate Donors

The Onion

Chick-Fil-A Admits To Enjoying Prostate Stimulation On Occasion

The Onion

Senate Passes Emergency Border Funding To Prevent Female Leadership From Spreading To U.S.

The Onion

Gorilla Mother Constantly Reminding Children To Slouch

The Onion

Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter This Townhouse

The Onion

Man With Suspended License Joins Court Zoom Call While Driving

The Onion

Cult Leader Not Even Charismatic

The Onion

Other Things Nikki Haley Wrote On Israeli Missiles

The Onion

Trump Found Guilty On All Counts In Hush Money Trial

The Onion

Everyone At Café Disgusted To See Parent Spanking Crying Busboy Like That

The Onion

Everybody celebrate! It’s that special time 3:48 P.M.!

The Onion

Jimmy Carter Becomes Second President Convicted Of Felony For Sticking Up Waffle House

The Onion

Sulking Trump Totally Unable To Enjoy Advanced Screening Of ‘Bad Boys: Ride Or Die’

The Onion

Pete Buttigieg Neatly Files Flattened Possum Into Roadkill Folder

The Onion

Hims Now Selling Bags Of Chips For Depressed, Impotent Losers Who Are Also Hungry

The Onion

D.C. Zoo To Receive 2 New Pandas

The Onion

Nation Shrugs After Hearing Trump Guilty Verdict, Unpauses ‘MILF Manor’

The Onion

BREAKING: BIG WORDS MEAN BIG THING HAPPEN

The Onion

Trump: ‘We’ll Take This All The Way To The Supreme Court I Appointed’

The Onion