Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Researchers Predict First Person To Live To 150 Already Out There, Preying On Young Souls For Their Life Force

The Onion

Study Finds Bottled Water Contains 100 Times More Plastic Than Thought

The Onion

NextDoor User Comes Right Out And Asks If It Okay To Set Homeless Man On Fire

The Onion

Dentist Hurt That Someone Would Deface Magazine Cover Model’s Smile Here Of All Places

The Onion

The Text Positivity Issue: Words Of All Sizes And Fonts, Completely Unedited

The Onion

Elon Musk Removes Prominent Leftist Reporters, Critics From X

The Onion

Single ‘Hi’ Sent To Guy On Dating App Referred To As ‘Ho Phase’

The Onion

Boyfriend Announces Plans To Black Out And Spend $600 At Golf Simulator

The Onion

Quiz: Who Said It, Donald Trump Or Hitler?

The Onion

White Woman Explains Why As An Anti-Racist Ally She Refuses To Say Any Word That Starts With ‘N’

The Onion

Colorado Rep. Lauren Boebert And Ex-Husband Allegedly Involved In Physical Altercation At Restaurant

The Onion

Luxury Condos Demolished Minutes After Completion To Build Even Fancier Condos

The Onion

Biden Plays Up Wholesomeness By Drawing Freckles On Cheeks With Marker

The Onion

Alaska Airlines Boeing Experienced Three Unresolved Warning Lights Before Fuselage Blowout

The Onion

The Onion 5: Everything You Need To Know On January 9, 2024

The Onion

Wealthy Dad Surprises Child With Tree House He Can Airbnb For Passive Income

The Onion

Gun Owners React To Wayne LaPierre Stepping Down

The Onion

FDA Confirms Safest Method Of Testing Food Temperature Sticking Finger Down Into Middle

The Onion

Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

The Onion

Marriage Counselor Sides With Hotter Spouse

The Onion