Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Nation’s White Liberals Announce They Have Successfully Completed Listening

The Onion

Blood-Splattered Wall Street Investors Scrambling After Dow Plunges Into Heart Of Floor Trader

The Onion

Surgeon General Calls For Social Media Warning Labels

The Onion

Man Sleeping On Sidewalk Must Not Know About Heat Advisory

The Onion

Megabus Declares Bankruptcy

The Onion

Woman Makes It Through Another Day Having Strange Interactions That Make Everyone Uncomfortable

The Onion

Experts Recommend Setting Aside At Least 3 Months’ Salary For Engaged Friend’s Bachelorette Party

The Onion

OtterBox Releases Flattering Ruched Cases For Larger Phones

The Onion

Biden Will Not Commute Son Hunter’s Sentence

The Onion

Frustrated Studio Execs Unsure How To Convince Public That Lego Pharrell Williams Movie Actually Happening

The Onion

Report: Every Place On Earth Has Wrong Amount Of Water

The Onion

That Show That’s ‘Game Of Thrones’ But Not Called That Has Record-Breaking Season Premiere

The Onion

A Day In The Life Of Samuel And Martha-Ann Alito

The Onion

Mortified Baby Hopes No One Notices She Shit Herself In Grocery Store

The Onion

Plastic 6-Pack Rings Conveniently Ensnare 6 Fish At Once

The Onion

Newest U.S. Aid Mission Just Single PowerBar Labeled ‘For Gaza’ Thrown Into Ocean

The Onion

Smithsonian Under Fire For Collection Of Nazi Memorabilia

The Onion

U.S. Curtain Master General Warns Of Increasing Number Of Creeps Behind Drapes

The Onion

Joey Chestnut Banned From Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest

The Onion

Justice QAnon Shaman Under Fire After Refusing To Recuse Himself From Jan. 6 Cases

The Onion