Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Rules Trump, Biden Must Follow During The First Presidential Debate

The Onion

Maybelline Denies Lab-Testing Mascara On Italian Widows

The Onion

NASA Astronauts’ Return From ISS On Boeing Capsule Faces Repeated Delays

The Onion

The First 2024 Presidential Debate By The Numbers

The Onion

Naked Man Emerging From Ocean Must Have Just Finished Evolving

The Onion

Rafael Nadal Withdraws From Wimbledon To Spend More Time Pressing Tennis Racket Against Face To Make Waffle Marks

The Onion

British Science Museum Forced To Return Fire Exhibit Originally Plundered From The Gods

The Onion

Increasingly Isolated Putin Tries Joining Adult Kickball League

The Onion

Records Show Postal Service Regularly Spies On Americans’ Mail For Law Enforcement

The Onion

Sister’s Deadbeat Boyfriend Doing Wonders For Rest Of Family’s Self-Esteem

The Onion

Google Announces Everyone’s Got To Chill With These Depressing Inquiries

The Onion

Tourist Immediately Breaks 34 Sacred Local Customs While Deboarding Airplane

The Onion

Pros And Cons Of Displaying The 10 Commandments In Every Classroom

The Onion

Nation’s Men In Bathroom Stalls Announce Plan To Breathe Really Loudly

The Onion

Perfectly Preserved 250-Year-Old Cherries Found At Mount Vernon

The Onion

Bookmark Dutifully Placed At End Of Chapter One

The Onion

Relaxed Orioles Security Will Get Around To Removing Fan From Field In Another Inning Or So

The Onion

Sloth Thinking Of Maybe Hanging From Tree For Another 80 Hours

The Onion

Study Correlates Popularity Of ‘Deadliest Catch’ With Huge Spike In Children Named ‘Crab’

The Onion

Amazing New ‘Elden Ring’ Expansion Just Puts User In Coma For 80 Hours

The Onion