Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Man Can’t Believe What A Dumbass Cartoon Character Is

The Onion

Cybertruck Owner Brags About High-Tech Pedal That Makes Vehicle Accelerate When Pressed 

The Onion

Phone Manually Turned Off With Intensity Of Mobster Smothering Witness With Pillow

The Onion

Kamala Harris Struggling To Button Pantsuit After Month Of Hanging Out With Tim Walz

The Onion

Pros And Cons Of Reparations

The Onion

Tom Brady Provides Detailed Analysis Of How Easy It Would Be For Him To Take Dak Prescott’s Job

The Onion

Bengals Coaching Staff Holding Breath After Joe Burrow Endures Rough High-Five

The Onion

Hunter Biden Pleads Guilty To Federal Tax Charges

The Onion

Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year

The Onion

Jimmy Carter Awakens To Learn He Outlived Every Single Person In America

The Onion

Venezuelan President Declares Christmas In October

The Onion

Tips For Growing Your TikTok Following

The Onion

New Antigravity Hover Shoes Protect Dogs’ Paws From Anything Within 6 Inches Of Ground

The Onion

Raygun’s Apology To Breakdancing Community Sparks Outrage From Apology Community

The Onion

ADHD Drugmaker To Ease Ongoing Shortage By Increasing Production

The Onion

Dad Not Leaving This Mini Golf Hole Until Son Shows Him Some Good Form

The Onion

Joey Chestnut Eats Entire Cast Of ‘Stranger Things’ In Under 10 Minutes

The Onion

Switchblade-Wielding Subway Rider Locked In Standoff With Penis-Wielding Subway Rider

The Onion

What To Know About MDMA Therapy

The Onion

‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens

The Onion