Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Joaquin Phoenix And Lady Gaga

The Onion

Vatican Dispatches Micro-Missionaries On First-Ever Trip To Convert Native Bacteria

The Onion

Tylenol Introduces New Extra-Strength Fainting Couch For Feverish Women

The Onion

Montana Man Faces Sentencing For Cloning Giant Sheep For Trophy Hunting

The Onion

‘The Onion’ Officially Endorses Joe Biden For President

The Onion

Texas Sex Ed Class Teaches Boys How To Cheat On Pregnant Wife

The Onion

Sabrina Carpenter Completes Mandatory Service In South Korean Military

The Onion

Deion Sanders Admits He Has No Idea What School Colorado Buffaloes Play For

The Onion

Peter Thiel Rushes To Restart Glitching J.D. Vance During Commercial Break

The Onion

J.D. Vance: ‘I Saw Tim Walz Cavorting With The Ghost Of Karl Marx Beneath A Blood-Red Moon’

The Onion

J.D. Vance Claims Haitian Immigrants Coming Into This Country To Make Him Look Stupid

The Onion

Norah O’Donnell To Candidates: ‘Tonight’s Debate Will Matter Just As Little As Both Of You’

The Onion

Scientists Sequence DNA From 3,600-Year-Old Cheese

The Onion

Man Thinks His Dog Is Office Mascot

The Onion

Ethnic Name Copied And Pasted Into Email

The Onion

Tim Walz Stays Up All Night Making Shoe-Box Diorama Of Washington Crossing The Delaware

The Onion

Jimmy Carter Holds Open-Casket Birthday Party

The Onion

High School Quarterback Using Tire Swing To Practice Putting Head Through CT Scanner

The Onion

‘Damn, That’s Crazy,’ Announces FEMA In Statement

The Onion

God’s Penis Visible In Night Sky For First Time In Millennia

The Onion