Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Uninformed Citizen Scrambling To Research Last 2,500 Years Of Democracy Before Voting

The Onion

Single-Band Home

The Onion

Report: High Turnout Traced To Americans Mistakenly Voting On Vending Machine

The Onion

Stressed Nation Asks Obama If It Can Bum 340 Million Cigarettes

The Onion

Election Touchscreen Map Takes Deeper Look Inside Key Swing Voter

The Onion

RFK Jr. Demands Secret Service Protection After Finding Cheez-It On Kitchen Floor

The Onion

Morbidly Obese Trump Boys Regret Eating So Many Ballots

The Onion

Tom Brady Breaks Down Exactly Why Jiu Jitsu Instructor Could Never Please Gisele

The Onion

Stars And Strips

The Onion

Travis Kelce Asks Nerd For Help Passing Concussion Protocol 

The Onion

Nation’s Impish Swing Voters Announce They Have Little Surprise In Store

The Onion

Nation Braces For Potential Post-Election Violence

The Onion

Poll Watcher Slaps ‘I Voted Sticker’ On Bump Stock

The Onion

Polling Place Boosts Attendance With ’80s Night

The Onion

Georgia Officials Remind Voters To Bring 2 Forms Of Weapon To Intimidate Election Workers

The Onion

Trump Says He Would Protect Women ‘Whether Women Like It Or Not’

The Onion

Undeterred Yankees Fan Attempts To Wrestle World Series Trophy Away From Mookie Betts

The Onion

Trump Admits Relationship With Epstein Severed After Dispute Over Dibs On Ivanka

The Onion

Piss-Soaked Tucker Carlson Claims Demon Urinated On Him While He Slept

The Onion

Elon Musk Claims Trump Economic Plan Would Cause Hardship

The Onion