Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Study: Infants Respond To Rustling Of Potato Chip Bag As Early As 3 Weeks

The Onion

New Epstein Estate Photo Shows Trump Waterskiing In Pyramid Formation With Underage Girls

The Onion

Entire Spring Break Spent In Airport Security Line

The Onion

How ICE Is Assisting TSA

The Onion

Ancient Scroll Reveals Lost Miracle Of Christ Correctly Guessing People’s Weights

The Onion

Taylor Frankie Paul Shows Superhuman Mom Strength Lifting Car To Throw At Child

The Onion

Trump Boys Help Bring Down Energy Prices With Homemade Perpetual Motion Machine

The Onion

Ina Garten Brings In Intimacy Coordinator For Shot With Fresh Lemon Tart 

The Onion

Delta Suspends Special Congressional Services Amid TSA Shutdown

The Onion

ChatGPT Convinces Sam Altman To Kill Humanity

The Onion

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Taylor Frankie Paul

The Onion

‘Love Story’ Inspires Viewers To Half-Ass Flying Lessons

The Onion

FDA Approves Lettuce That Can Be Remotely Detonated In Event Of Recall

The Onion

Epidemiologists Confirm First Airborne Transmission Of Mar-A-Lago Face

The Onion

Florida Bill To Ban First Cousin Marriage Fails To Pass

The Onion

Economists Warn That Even Their Friend’s Son Who Went To Business School Can’t Find A Job

The Onion

White House IT Guy Sends Out Reminder Memo About Child Porn 

The Onion

42-Year-Old Woman Refers To Herself As ‘Preggerz’

The Onion

Robert Mueller Dead At 81

The Onion

ICE Agents Swab Passengers’ Hands To Test For Immigrant Residue

The Onion