Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Cardinal Passed Over For Pope Devoted Life To God For Nothing

The Onion

2nd Grader Orders 70,000 Lollipops On Amazon

The Onion

Conclave Selects First Chicago-Style Pope

The Onion

God Loses $400 Betting On Cardinal Tagle

The Onion

Pope Leo XIV: ‘There Couldn’t Be A Better Time To Get The Fuck Out Of America Forever’

The Onion

Nervous Man Introduces Date To His Hives

The Onion

Archaeologists Uncover Embarrassing Egyptian Rockabilly Dynasty

The Onion

Trump Offers Undocumented Immigrants $1,000 To Leave Country

The Onion

Trump Orders Reopening Of Alcatraz

The Onion

Sin’N’Out

The Onion

Trump Absent-Mindedly Snacks On Constitution

The Onion

Teacher Can Tell Child With Spiky Hair, Sunglasses Comes From A Rad Home

The Onion

National Endowment For The Arts Lays Off 30,000 Muses

The Onion

Trump Decries Lack Of U.S.-Made Products Lodged In American Rectums

The Onion

U.S. Offers Semiconductors To China In Exchange For Holographic Charizard

The Onion

Sun-Maid Announces Girl In Logo Has Always Been Sentient Raisin Disguising Self In Human Flesh

The Onion

PBS NewsHour Interrupted By Repo Men Seizing Desk

The Onion

Couple Debates Ethical Implications Of Bringing Another Child Into This Bar

The Onion

Trump Vows To Reopen Joann Fabrics As Prison

The Onion

Australians Rescue Great White Shark Stranded In Shallow Water

The Onion