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Study Finds Weed Use Linked To Early Heart Disease

The Onion

Guise And Dolls

The Onion

Novelty Car Horn Playing ‘La Cucaracha’ Sends Stephen Miller Into Dissociative Fugue State

The Onion

Hair Loss: Myth Vs. Fact

The Onion

Tesla Employees Scramble To Make Office Look Like They’ve Been Sleeping There

The Onion

Crypto Investor Tortures Man In Attempt To Steal Bitcoin Password

The Onion

Trump Pardons Tom Sandoval

The Onion

Timeline Of Trump’s Battle With Harvard

The Onion

Recession Forecasts Jump After Herds Of Panicked Economists Start Running Off Cliffs

The Onion

Tariff-Strained Apple Announces 7,083-Piece iPhone Kit

The Onion

Whole Flight Spent Reading ‘War And Peace’ Over Shoulder Of Passenger Ahead

The Onion

Interactive Exhibit Lets Kids Figure Out How To Manage Budget Shortfall That Will Otherwise Shutter Museum

The Onion

Nobody In White House Sure Who Guy Praying Over Trump Is

The Onion

Rusted Qatari Plane Sitting On Blocks On White House Lawn

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Stapler Not The Same Since Tasting Human Flesh

The Onion

U.K. To Chemically Castrate Sex Offenders

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213 Killed In How Do You Pronounce That?

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‘You On The Apps?’ Heralds Beginning Of World’s Bleakest Conversation

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Grade School’s Gifted Program Admits Kids Who Can Emotionally Handle Time Away From iPad

The Onion

Artist Profile: Gracie Abrams

The Onion