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Military Recruiter Enlists Ragtag Bunch Of Teen Misfits To Die In Overseas Conflict
The Onion
satire
news
CEO Motivates Self By Keeping Own Photo On Desk
The Onion
news
satire
Mysterious Drones Spotted Over New Jersey
The Onion
satire
news
ABC Pays $15 Million To Settle Trump Defamation Suit
The Onion
news
satire
Doctor Warns Of Damaging Effects Child Obesity Having On Mall Santas
The Onion
news
satire
God Locks Heavenly Gates After Spotting Mormon Missionaries Milling Around Outside
The Onion
news
satire
FEMA Administrator Resigns After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System
The Onion
satire
news
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
The Onion
news
satire
Bloated Man Recalls Halcyon Days Of 7 Oreos Ago
The Onion
satire
news
What To Know About ‘Mufasa: The Lion King’
The Onion
satire
news
Justin Bieber Forgets Wife’s Name
The Onion
satire
news
Meta Donates $1 Million To Trump Inauguration
The Onion
satire
news
Biden Commutes 1,500 Prison Sentences
The Onion
news
satire
A Message Of Hope From Global Tetrahedron
The Onion
news
satire
Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour By The Numbers
The Onion
news
satire
Saudi Arabia To Host 2034 World Cup
The Onion
news
satire
JD Vance Forced To Dress As Elf At Mar-A-Lago Christmas Party
The Onion
satire
news
Trump Named ‘Time’ Person Of The Year For Second Time
The Onion
news
satire
Take Me To Your Girlboss
The Onion
satire
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KitchenAid Unveils New Culinary Mech Suit
The Onion
satire
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