Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
Lost Jan. 6 Rioter Still Searching Capitol Building For Mike Pence
WASHINGTON—As he wandered aimlessly through the halls of the U.S. Capitol building, lost Jan. 6 rioter Alex Morris told reporters Tuesday that he was still searching for former Vice President Mike Pence. “Oh my God, how am I back in Statuary Hall again? Where the hell is Pence?” said Morris, tucking a noose under his […]
The post Lost Jan. 6 Rioter Still Searching Capitol Building For Mike Pence appeared first on The Onion.
Steph Curry Finally Finishes Eating Mouthguard
The post Steph Curry Finally Finishes Eating Mouthguard appeared first on The Onion.
Mark Kelly Punished With Expulsion To Outer Space
The post Mark Kelly Punished With Expulsion To Outer Space appeared first on The Onion.
NASA Discovers Distant Planet With Conditions That Could Sustain Rocks
WASHINGTON—Lauding the breakthrough as a pivotal moment in the search for stones beyond the solar system, researchers at NASA announced Tuesday the discovery of a distant planet with perfect conditions for sustaining rocks. “After analysis of HD 101581 b’s atmosphere and surface conditions, we are confident this astronomical body meets all known criteria for supporting […]
The post NASA Discovers Distant Planet With Conditions That Could Sustain Rocks appeared first on The Onion.
British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good
LONDON—Delighting his schoolmates as he weaved a rich tapestry of life in the United States, newly returned British exchange student Ethan Rowe, 15, reportedly regaled his friends Tuesday with stories of food that tastes good. “In America they use salt, and they have sauces other than malt vinegar and brown!” Rowe said to growing throngs […]
The post British Teen Returning From Semester In U.S. Regales Friends With Tale Of Food That Tastes Good appeared first on The Onion.