Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop

MILWAUKEE—After instructing his 5-year-old son to imagine a bunch of birthday candles at the other end of the tube, local dad Rick Cerney, 41, reportedly rewarded the child’s blow into his car Breathalyzer Monday with a dicey trip to an ice cream shop. “Great job, buddy—just like a balloon, right?” Cerney said as he used his […]

The post Child’s Blow Into Car Breathalyzer Rewarded With Dicey Trip To Ice Cream Shop appeared first on The Onion.

Keith Belden

Due to a hospital room mix-up, Keith Belden, 71, died peacefully surrounded by friends and family of Maurice Simpkins, 81.

The post Keith Belden appeared first on The Onion.

RFK Jr. Coughs Up Pair Of Jeans

The post RFK Jr. Coughs Up Pair Of Jeans appeared first on The Onion.

Zillow Adds Segregation Score

SEATTLE—In an effort to help U.S. homebuyers find the kinds of neighborhoods they’re looking for, online real estate marketplace Zillow announced Monday that it had provided each property listing with a segregation score, allowing users to quickly gauge an area’s racial homogeneity. “Every home on Zillow now includes a rating of one to 100 based on […]

The post Zillow Adds Segregation Score appeared first on The Onion.

DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes

WASHINGTON—Asserting that the images were “100% authentic,” the Justice Department released Monday what appeared to be deepfake nudes of Federal Reserve chair Jerome Powell. “The American people deserve to know that the central bank is led by a total slut,” Attorney General Pam Bondi said of the photo, promising that more sexually explicit images of Powell […]

The post DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes appeared first on The Onion.