Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
Researchers Determine Moon Serves No Purpose But Alerting Raccoons It Safe To Come Out
PASADENA, CA—Dispelling numerous widespread beliefs about the role the celestial body plays in life on Earth, astronomers at the California Institute of Technology published a paper in the Proceedings Of The National Academy Of Sciences Friday that found the moon serves no purpose but to alert raccoons that it’s safe to come out. “While it’s […]
The post Researchers Determine Moon Serves No Purpose But Alerting Raccoons It Safe To Come Out appeared first on The Onion.
Thai Woman Found Alive In Coffin Moments Before Cremation
After someone heard her knocking, a Thai woman was discovered alive inside her coffin, just narrowly avoiding cremation. What do you think?
The post Thai Woman Found Alive In Coffin Moments Before Cremation appeared first on The Onion.
Grandma Thankfully Dies Before Sister’s Girlfriend Arrives
KNOXVILLE, TN—In a development her family began referring to as a “stroke of luck,” local 81-year-old Gloria Martin reportedly died Thursday before her granddaughter arrived to Thanksgiving dinner with her girlfriend. “Oh, thank God—problem solved, everybody,” said Frank Martin, grandson of the deceased, who reportedly breathed a sigh of relief along with his cousins, aunts, uncles, […]
The post Grandma Thankfully Dies Before Sister’s Girlfriend Arrives appeared first on The Onion.
Sweet Potato Dish Stopped Being Healthy 5 Ingredients Ago
The post Sweet Potato Dish Stopped Being Healthy 5 Ingredients Ago appeared first on The Onion.
America Celebrates Thanksgiving
Across the nation, Americans are gathering with loved ones to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. What are you thankful for?
The post America Celebrates Thanksgiving appeared first on The Onion.