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LOUISVILLE, KY—Expressing a mix of frustration and stunned disbelief at the woman’s lack of enthusiasm, local man Ron Broder told reporters Wednesday that the escort whose services he had solicited for the evening fell asleep during Star Wars: Episode IV—A New Hope.  The 40-year-old logistics coordinator confirmed he had paid the sex worker Misty, as […]

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The pair were wed by the captain of their cruise ship while under the mistaken impression that it would get them a free pass to the lobster buffet.

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PALM BEACH, FL—Boasting that they were about to become “gajillionaires” thanks to their technological innovation, the Trump boys reportedly hooked a dollar bill up to a potato Tuesday in an attempt to make cryptocurrency. “Uncle Elon told us all about how crypto works, and now we’ve built a mining rig that’s gonna make us free money!” […]

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