Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Greek Custodian Used To Be Demigod Back In Home Country

TENAFLY, NJ—According to Roosevelt Elementary custodian Thanasis Danielopoulos, faculty and staff at the school are often surprised when they learn that back in his home country of Greece, he was a demigod. “People are usually shocked when I tell them my mom was a maiden and my dad was a rain god who took the form […]

The post Greek Custodian Used To Be Demigod Back In Home Country appeared first on The Onion.

Blindfolded ‘Love Island USA’ Contestants Challenged To Guess Who Saying Slur

The post Blindfolded ‘Love Island USA’ Contestants Challenged To Guess Who Saying Slur appeared first on The Onion.

Schtick-Starter

The post Schtick-Starter appeared first on The Onion.

Sara Morse and Beth Lozano

The pair said “I do” Friday after a whirlwind meeting with their tax preparer.

The post Sara Morse and Beth Lozano appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Angrily Demands Jalen Brunson Put On Suit

NEW YORK—Growing increasingly indignant with each passing possession, President Donald Trump reportedly spent the first quarter of Monday’s Game 3 of the NBA Finals angrily demanding that Knicks guard Jalen Brunson put on a suit. “You’re telling me this guy is supposed to be the star, yet he goes out on the court wearing, what, […]

The post Trump Angrily Demands Jalen Brunson Put On Suit appeared first on The Onion.