According to the CDC, more than one quarter of U.S. adults suffer from seasonal allergies. The Onion shares tips for managing allergic rhinitis symptoms. Try a nasal-removal spray.  Politely ask the flowers in your neighborhood to stop blooming.  Ask ADT about their anti-ragweed security systems. Teach the trees in your area that sexual reproduction is […]

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WASHINGTON—Demanding viewers look upon their precious offspring or suffer dire consequences, extremist parenting organization Mamas United reportedly hijacked the airwaves Monday to broadcast photos of their children. “People of the world, we call upon you to gaze on our sweet little ones immediately—especially Brandon, who is really cute as a button in his OshKosh B’Gosh,” said […]

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This place is pretty unremarkable, but hey, it’s got a wine fridge! That’s pretty fun! Don’t worry about the foundation! Reference #68903

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A pair of critically endangered, nearly 100-year-old Galapagos tortoises at the Philadelphia Zoo have become first-time parents, with the arrival of the four hatchlings being a first in the zoo’s more than 150-year history. What do you think?

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