The post Medieval Scribe Keeps Forgetting ‘Whence/Whither’ Rule appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—Noting that this year’s nominations had once again completely omitted an important sector of cinema, actor Tim Allen took to social media Thursday to call out the Oscars for failing to recognize movies where a guy turns into a dog. “By not elevating these films, the Academy is sending the message that stories about […]

The post Tim Allen Calls Out Oscars For Failure To Recognize Movies Where Guy Turns Into Dog  appeared first on The Onion.

David Hammond passed away Sunday at the age of 81. In lieu of flowers, his family requests that mourners place a three-team parlay on the Lions, Colts, and Titans to cover, as it’s essentially free money.

The post David Hammond appeared first on The Onion.

President Trump announced Wednesday that a framework for a future Greenland deal had been reached. The Onion assesses the veracity of Trump’s statements regarding Greenland.  Claim: Greenland needs protection from Russia and China. Partially true: Greenland needs protection from Russia, China, and the United States. Claim: America will use military force to acquire Greenland if […]

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The post Scientists Witness 2 Dogs Mating For First Time appeared first on The Onion.