Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Nothing Ever Good Enough For Captive

OVERLAND PARK, KS—Expressing frustration that his efforts to be accommodating continue to go unappreciated, area man Thomas Kemps confirmed Monday that nothing is ever good enough for the woman he has been holding captive in his basement for the past 39 days. “I give and I give, and what do I get in return? Not a single genuine thank-you,” […]

The post Nothing Ever Good Enough For Captive appeared first on The Onion.

Squirrel Plays Off Falling Out Of Tree Like He Totally Meant To

The post Squirrel Plays Off Falling Out Of Tree Like He Totally Meant To appeared first on The Onion.

Rams-Seahawks Game Preempted By ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ Rerun

The post Rams-Seahawks Game Preempted By ‘Everybody Hates Chris’ Rerun appeared first on The Onion.

Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold Cadaver

The post Stephen Miller Rings In Weekend By Cracking Open Cold Cadaver appeared first on The Onion.

Diana Chin and Tim Galchot

Chin married Galchot in what is being described as a decisive coup d’état against the groom’s 13-year-old daughter from a previous marriage.

The post Diana Chin and Tim Galchot appeared first on The Onion.