WASHINGTON—In an address touting the practice as a completely drug-free method to relieve the common affliction, Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. demonstrated Thursday how to remove a tapeworm by scooting one’s ass across carpet. “Doctors won’t tell you this, but you don’t need medication for a tapeworm—all you need is […]

The post RFK Jr. Demonstrates How To Remove Tapeworm By Scooting Ass Across Carpet appeared first on The Onion.

The post AMC Unveils ‘The Moment’ Commemorative Poppers Bucket appeared first on The Onion.

The post Trump On Prosecution Of Journalists: ‘Bring Me The Tapper’ appeared first on The Onion.

The post Ted Nugent Releases Protest Song ‘Skanks Of Minneapolis’ appeared first on The Onion.

LOS ANGELES—After 15 years of promoting the A24 film The Moment, actress Charlotte Aitchison told reporters Friday she was relieved to shed the character Charli XCX. “Playing Charli has been an actor’s dream,” said Aitchison, the 33-year-old thespian, who reportedly beat out a slew of stars for the competitive role of the fictional pop star, including Margaret […]

The post Charlotte Aitchison Relieved To Shed Charli XCX Character After 15 Years Of Promoting ‘The Moment’  appeared first on The Onion.