Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Rest Of Lakers Trying To Act Casual While LeBron James Spanks Bronny

LOS ANGELES—As they stared intently at their phones and pretended not to notice the steady rhythm of smacks echoing through the locker room, the Los Angeles Lakers were reportedly trying their best to act casual Tuesday while LeBron James spanked his son Bronny in full view of the team. “Wow, yikes, he’s really laying into […]

The post Rest Of Lakers Trying To Act Casual While LeBron James Spanks Bronny appeared first on The Onion.

Funeral Canceled Due To Runaway Corpse

The post Funeral Canceled Due To Runaway Corpse appeared first on The Onion.

Starbucks Reintroduces Tiers To Loyalty Program

Starbucks is reintroducing tiers to its loyalty program as part of a bid to entice consumers to visit more often, with the company claiming the current system doesn’t properly reward its most loyal customers. What do you think?

The post Starbucks Reintroduces Tiers To Loyalty Program appeared first on The Onion.

Pacers PA Announcer Just Muttering ‘Jesus Christ’ Over And Over

The post Pacers PA Announcer Just Muttering ‘Jesus Christ’ Over And Over appeared first on The Onion.

White House Aide Fired After Telling JD Vance About Super Bowl Party 

WASHINGTON—Insisting the terminated worker had violated the terms of her employment by leaking highly sensitive information, the White House announced Monday that longtime aide Sandra Wilton had been fired for telling Vice President JD Vance about an upcoming Super Bowl party. “It’s difficult to imagine how this employee believed it was acceptable to reveal details of the West Wing Super Bowl party to Vance despite being […]

The post White House Aide Fired After Telling JD Vance About Super Bowl Party  appeared first on The Onion.