Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Artist Profile: Rosalía

Rosalía’s fourth studio album, Lux, has been met with critical acclaim, cracking the Billboard top 10 for the first time in the Spanish pop star’s career. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist. Genre: Música Musical Influences: Traditional Spanish TikToks Who She’s Beefing With: B-flat Frequent Collaborator: King Ferdinand V Controversies: […]

The post Artist Profile: Rosalía appeared first on The Onion.

Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers

WASHINGTON—Touting his latest executive order as a historic win for the U.S. economy, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he was mandating a 5,000% increase in all numbers nationwide. “Effective immediately, 100 will now be 5,100 and—I’m reading off the official statistics from my people—500 will be 25,500,” said Trump, speaking from the Oval Office […]

The post Trump Announces 5,000% Increase In All Numbers appeared first on The Onion.

Lorde Requiring All Concertgoers  To Stash Boyfriends In Locked Pouch

CHICAGO—In a move making her the latest performer to join the distraction-free trend, New Zealand singer-songwriter Lorde confirmed Friday that she was now requiring all concertgoers to stash their boyfriends in locked pouches during her shows. “I understand wanting to share the experience, but I think a live performance is more special when everyone puts their […]

The post Lorde Requiring All Concertgoers  To Stash Boyfriends In Locked Pouch appeared first on The Onion.

Crying Sounds Coming From Inside Suit Of Armor

The post Crying Sounds Coming From Inside Suit Of Armor appeared first on The Onion.

Pete Hegseth Wakes Up At 3 P.M. With Dozen Missed Calls From The Hague

The post Pete Hegseth Wakes Up At 3 P.M. With Dozen Missed Calls From The Hague appeared first on The Onion.