BATON ROUGE, LA—Revealing that he was prepared to become a martyr for the popular cartoon dog from Australia, local 3-year-old Owen Fulks announced this week that he was more than willing to die for Bluey. “It would be the greatest honor to lay down my life for Bluey,” said Fulks, pledging his eternal allegiance to the […]

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PALO ALTO, CA—Hailing the new product as a “game changer” in the development of large language models, Silicon Valley insiders confirmed Tuesday that an AI chatbot that only responds “huh” had been valued at $200 billion. “The new HmmAI chatbot is like nothing we’ve seen before, able to answer ‘huh’ to text and image-based inputs with […]

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LOS ANGELES—Sparking rumors about the pair’s relationship as she stepped out with the new piece of eye-catching jewelry, media personality Kylie Jenner was photographed Friday wearing an amulet that reportedly contained an imprisoned Timothée Chalamet. “It’s official—Timothée’s soul has been sealed inside that glowing pendant around her neck,” said an insider source, who hinted that the […]

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The post ‘It’s My Hand’: Muppets Puppeteer On How He Brings Kermit To Life appeared first on The Onion.

Oh! Margo McQueen, 63, died. You knew that, right? Like, eight months ago. There was a memorial. Your father went. Said her sister’s really gone off the deep end with the Botox.

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