NEW YORK—In an effort to meet growing demand for her nuptials, pop superstar Taylor Swift announced on Instagram Friday that additional dates for her wedding had been added in Los Angeles, Miami, and Boston. “I’m so excited to bring this special night to as many people as possible,” said Swift, who has reportedly booked 300-seat […]

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WASHINGTON—Authorities in the nation’s capital reportedly unearthed the bodies of more than 150 former Trump advisors Thursday after a worker stumbled upon what appeared to be a mass grave on the grounds of the White House. Investigators were called to the scene after a groundskeeper performing routine landscaping around the North Lawn’s fountain noticed a […]

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Your Doppelgänger’s House: Aspirational home, complete with loving wife and daughter. You look and sound enough like him that they would never suspect a thing. Reference #83057

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SCOTTSDALE, AZ—Though he focused the majority of his attention on stroking and squeezing his genitalia, sources confirmed that local masturbating man Kenneth Carter still managed to keep an eye on Thursday night’s game between the Golden State Warriors and the Phoenix Suns. After drawing the window shades and settling himself in his favorite easy chair, […]

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