Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
God Admits He No Longer Loves Humanity But Is Too Afraid To Leave
THE HEAVENS—Admitting He felt torn between His true feelings and His fear of the unknown, the Lord God Almighty announced Monday that He no longer loved humanity but was too afraid to leave. “Any affection I ever had for the human race is long gone, but I’m just terrified at the thought of walking away […]
The post God Admits He No Longer Loves Humanity But Is Too Afraid To Leave appeared first on The Onion.
Olympians Showered With Mortadella Confetti During Milan Closing Ceremonies
The post Olympians Showered With Mortadella Confetti During Milan Closing Ceremonies appeared first on The Onion.
Potomac River Flooded With 240 Million Gallons Of Sewage
The Potomac River, a waterway that winds through the nation’s capital, is in the midst of an ecological crisis after one of the largest sewage spills in U.S. history, with over 240 million gallons of raw human waste threatening the health of the river and the safety of those who depend on it. What do […]
The post Potomac River Flooded With 240 Million Gallons Of Sewage appeared first on The Onion.
Alysa Liu Uses Gold Medal To Gauge Ear
The post Alysa Liu Uses Gold Medal To Gauge Ear appeared first on The Onion.
Trump Suffers Setback Unrelated To Child Rape
The post Trump Suffers Setback Unrelated To Child Rape appeared first on The Onion.