The post Pebble Rattling Around In Shoe Turns Out To Be Loose Toe appeared first on The Onion.

This place is pretty unremarkable, but hey, it’s got a wine fridge! That’s pretty fun! Don’t worry about the foundation! Reference #68903

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According to the CDC, more than one quarter of U.S. adults suffer from seasonal allergies. The Onion shares tips for managing allergic rhinitis symptoms. Try a nasal-removal spray.  Politely ask the flowers in your neighborhood to stop blooming.  Ask ADT about their anti-ragweed security systems. Teach the trees in your area that sexual reproduction is […]

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A pair of critically endangered, nearly 100-year-old Galapagos tortoises at the Philadelphia Zoo have become first-time parents, with the arrival of the four hatchlings being a first in the zoo’s more than 150-year history. What do you think?

The post Galapagos Tortoises Become First-Time Parents At 100 appeared first on The Onion.

LOUISVILLE, KY—Expressing a mix of frustration and stunned disbelief at the woman’s lack of enthusiasm, local man Ron Broder told reporters Wednesday that the escort whose services he had solicited for the evening fell asleep during Star Wars: Episode IV—A New Hope.  The 40-year-old logistics coordinator confirmed he had paid the sex worker Misty, as […]

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