After nearly two years, Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour has at last concluded, grossing over $2 billion in ticket sales. The Onion looks at the key facts and figures behind the record-breaking tour. 1.2 million: Parents who only learned at the door that you can’t bring water bottles into the venue 113: Average rushing yards per […]

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The 2034 World Cup was officially awarded to Saudi Arabia, raising concerns from human rights groups about the safety of migrant workers. What do you think?

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PALM BEACH, FL—Despite begging to attend the party in his suit like every other member of Donald Trump’s future cabinet, Vice President-elect JD Vance was reportedly forced to dress as an elf Friday for the Mar-a-Lago Christmas party. “Hey everyone, I’m JD, the Christmas elf!” the 40-year-old Ohio senator said in a high-pitched voice, prancing […]

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Time named Trump their choice for Person Of The Year for the second time, recognizing the president-elect as the individual or group deemed to have wielded the greatest influence on global affairs “for good or for ill.” What do you think?

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By Commander Byxxurian Greetings, earthlings. I am Commander Byxxurian from Nebula Vriphlaxor-9. I come bearing a message of utmost importance from the galactic consortium. Its intended recipient is one who lives among you, and if it is not delivered quickly, then I fear all hope will be lost. Please, we do not have much time. […]

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