WASHINGTON—Expressing deep fondness for those long-gone halcyon days, the U.S. population collectively yearned Tuesday for the relative calm of the “president is a giant pedophile” news cycle. “It was a simpler time then, back when all people wanted to talk about was the leader of the country molesting underage girls,” said Denver resident Scott Munoz, […]

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LONDON—Determined to get to the bottom of the highly publicized estrangement, fashion designer Victoria Beckham reportedly took to Reddit Tuesday to anonymously ask for someone to explain the Beckham family feud to her. “Sorry, I’m feeling kind of out of the loop here, could someone explain what’s going on with the son?” the 51-year-old Beckham […]

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It turns out Kimberly Cunningham, 45, did forget her EpiPen at home.

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GENEVA—In a recommendation of the time-honored method for relieving stress in overwhelming social situations, the World Health Organization released new guidelines Tuesday for the treatment of anxiety by sneaking off to do drugs in the bathroom. “Whether you’re feeling uncomfortable while out in public or in the home of a friend or relative, you can […]

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