NEW YORK—Urging audiences to see his new film on the biggest screen possible, Disclosure Day director Steven Spielberg claimed in an interview Friday that IMAX provided the best way to experience Josh O’Connor’s soulful yet vulnerable eyes. “In order for you to feel swept away in those deep emerald pools the way I intended, you […]

The post Steven Spielberg Claims IMAX Best Way To Experience Josh O’Connor’s Soulful Yet Vulnerable Eyes appeared first on The Onion.

A new paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that the release of the Apple iPhone in 2007 contributed to a decline in the birth rate, especially among teens and young adults. What do you think?

The post Study Finds iPhone Lowered Birth Rate appeared first on The Onion.

The post Embarrassed Woman Scrambles To Stop Emotionally Resonating With Movie Before Lights Come On appeared first on The Onion.

CHICAGO—Having confirmed the shocking development with numerous top-level sources, a depressed Shams Charania broke the news Thursday that he has absolutely no one. “Per multiple industry insiders, I can confirm that I’ve driven away everyone who ever cared about me in this world, and now I’m all alone with my miserable self,” the dejected, unshaven NBA […]

The post Depressed Shams Charania Breaks Scoop That He Has No One appeared first on The Onion.

Your mother, 67, is fine, but this is just a reminder that she could go at any moment. Give her a call.

The post Your Mother appeared first on The Onion.