Peyton Boudouris and Brandon Trusler

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Growing Up With Brothers, I’ve Always Gotten Along Better With Guys Who Don’t Respect Me

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Pentagon Develops Tactical Zoot Suit

The Onion

• satire
•   news

U.S. Fertility Rate Plummets To Pre-Nick Cannon Levels

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Hiker Airlifted After Being Stung By Bees Over 100 Times

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Justin Bieber Performs Coachella Aftershow Lying Face-Down On Massage Table

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Trump Escalates Feud With Unclear Adversary By Posting AI Video Of Self Fucking Basketball

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto

The Onion

•   news
• satire

The Noble Prize

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Never Mind, It’s An Airbnb Now

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Illinois Becomes First State To Require Haircut Leave While Bob Grows Out

The Onion

•   news
• satire

U.S. Reaches Trade Deal With Pedotopia

The Onion

•   news
• satire

GLP-1s: Myth Vs. Fact

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Automatic U.S. Military Draft Registration To Begin By December

The Onion

•   news
• satire

Rory McIlroy Struggling To Fit Big Check Into Mobile Deposit Photo

The Onion

•   news
• satire

CBS Announces Retirement Of Longtime Masters Commentators Captain Cooter And The Gooch

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Nation’s Sensitive Kids Denounce NHL Goal Horns

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Scottie Scheffler’s Masters Hopes Fade After He Is Swallowed By Sandworm

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Cocaine, Caffeine Detected In Sharks

The Onion

• satire
•   news

Melania Trump: ‘Never Once In My 4,000 Years Have I Been To Epstein Island’

The Onion

• satire
•   news