Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Mall Escalator Spits Out Another Pile Of Bones

The Onion

Prostitute Falls Asleep During ‘Star Wars’

The Onion

Trump Boys Hook Dollar Bill Up To Potato To Make Cryptocurrency

The Onion

White House Revokes Biden’s Veneers

The Onion

Mega Millions Raises Price Of Tickets To $5

The Onion

Report: Recession Fears Forcing More Americans To Hold Off On Retiring From Presidency

The Onion

Patrick Schwarzenegger Worried ‘White Lotus’ Role Will Typecast Him As Hand Job Recipient

The Onion

Nestlé Buys E.Coli For $2.3 Billion

The Onion

Man Who Bumped Tesla While Parallel Parking Sentenced To Death

The Onion

RFK Jr. Orders Removal Of Sinks From HHS Bathrooms

The Onion

Roseanne Barr’s Illiteracy Charity Snatches 100 Millionth Book From Child

The Onion

Everything You Always Wanted, Right?

The Onion

Florida Gators Climb Ladder With Scissors To Circumcise Dick Vitale

The Onion

Judge Gives Trump Administration 3 Days To Return Her From El Salvador Prison

The Onion

3-Year-Old Discovers 3,800-Year-Old Amulet While On Family Outing

The Onion

Revised National Parks Webpage Describes Harriet Tubman As Human Trafficker

The Onion

Sam Mendes Admits Idea For 4 Beatles Biopics Conceived Before He Heard About TV

The Onion

Trump Assures U.S. Farmers Barron Will Eat Their Crops

The Onion

Shelly Greenfield and Patrick Chester

The Onion

Masters Crowd Whispering Its Lungs Out

The Onion