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The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Every Trait Disqualifying ICE Agent From Previous Jobs Ideal For Current One

The Onion

Critics Praise Benson Boone Album As Finite

The Onion

Man Gets Stuck In Chimney While Trying To Rescue Dog Trapped In Building

The Onion

Jeff Bezos’ Italian Wedding By The Numbers

The Onion

Andrew Cuomo Subpoenas Gynecological Records Of Women Who Didn’t Vote For Him

The Onion

Bezos Wedding Guests Delighted By Amazon Worker With Ring Tied To Collar Crawling Down Aisle 

The Onion

Bezos Wedding Guests Given Monogrammed Plastic Bottles To Urinate In During Ceremony

The Onion

Improperly Dressed Applebee’s Diner Provided Loaner Stained Hoodie

The Onion

Parenting Experts Warn Babies Can Hydroplane In As Little As One Inch Of Water

The Onion

Telegram CEO To Leave Fortune To Over 100 Children He Fathered

The Onion

FEMA Head Under Fire After Accidentally Playing Porn On Emergency Alert System

The Onion

Trump Assures Nation Uncommonly Violent Ceasefire In Effect

The Onion

Taylor Swift Wakes Up From Nightmare Where Travis Kelce Wins Oscar Before Her

The Onion

Shroom for Improvement

The Onion

Pete Hegseth Wondering Whether Uranium Would Be A Good Mixer

The Onion

Cuomo Makes 11th-Hour Pass At Female New Yorkers

The Onion

Why I’m Sending Issues of ‘The Onion’ To Every Member Of Congress

The Onion

Elderly Man Gets Stuck After Driving Down Rome’s Spanish Steps

The Onion

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Get 400% Increase

The Onion

Timeline Of Timothée Chalamet And Kylie Jenner’s Relationship

The Onion