Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Trump Announces SEAL Team 6 Killed U.S. Protester In Daring Overnight Raid

The Onion

Study: 93% Of Individuals With One Earbud In Receiving Top-Secret Commands From HQ

The Onion

Single Man Sits On Own Hand Before Dialing 911 So It Feels Like Someone Else Cares

The Onion

Harvard Announces Free Tuition For Families Making Under $200,000

The Onion

Trump Invokes Law Used To Justify Japanese Internment Camps

The Onion

Frightened Child Sits Atop Stairs Watching Parents Argue About Ending Of ‘Sopranos’

The Onion

New Federal Law Mandates Women Talk With Baby Voice

The Onion

4-Year-Old Calls 911 To Report Mom For Eating His Ice Cream

The Onion

Report: You Could Just Lose An Arm One Day

The Onion

Basic Woman’s Entire Personality Revolves Around Things She Enjoys

The Onion

JD Vance Reminded Caddies Not Allowed In Clubhouse

The Onion

Port-A-Potty Paraded Around On Flatbed Truck Like Homecoming Queen

The Onion

Dejected Schumer Superfan Can’t Believe He Dropped $10,000 On VIP Party Package

The Onion

Senile Grandma Tries To Set Up Grandkids With Each Other

The Onion

Texas Implements Mandatory 6-Month Quarantine For Anyone Who Has Watched ‘Will And Grace’

The Onion

Overdue Library Book Returned After 99 Years

The Onion

Oversized Leprechaun Hat Left At Home On St. Patrick’s Day To Avoid Damaging It

The Onion

Stepson Liked With All Of Man’s Heart

The Onion

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lady Gaga

The Onion

128 New Moons Found Orbiting Saturn

The Onion