Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Funeral Priest Not Sure How Obliquely To Talk About Hot Air Balloon Accident

The Onion

23andMe Files For Bankruptcy

The Onion

Teen Warned Not To Accept Group Chat Invites From National Security Advisors She Doesn’t Know

The Onion

Trump Officials Accidentally Text Journalist War Plans

The Onion

Death Of Chopped-Up Woman Ruled A Suicide

The Onion

‘I Messed Up At Work Again,’ Crestfallen Michael Waltz Texts Wife, National Geographic Editorial Staff

The Onion

Democrats Huddle To Decide How Best To Let Massive Republican Fuck-Up Slip Through Fingers

The Onion

Walton Goggins Unsure How Many HBO Roles It Will Take To Get Free Max Subscription

The Onion

Hims Announces Erections Will Soon Feature Ads

The Onion

Star BYU Player Suspended After Testing Positive For Coffee

The Onion

Woman Losing Steam Professing Love Thought Crush Would’ve Said ‘Shut Up And Kiss Me’ By Now

The Onion

Tiger Woods Claims That In Time He Will Fuck Everyone’s Ex-Wife

The Onion

JuJu Watkins Sprains Bun

The Onion

Pope Francis Flips Off Crowd From Balcony

The Onion

Trump Orders All Children Born Under Biden To Be Renamed After Confederate Generals

The Onion

Stuck in the Timiddle With You

The Onion

Well Shit, Man Thought He Secured Infant Car Seat

The Onion

Woman Enjoys Process Of Planning Suicide More Than Actual Suicide Itself 

The Onion

Jury Convicts Thief Who Stole Golden Toilet

The Onion

Spray-Painted Penis Only Thing Holding Cybertruck Together

The Onion