Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

U.S. Food Banks Struggle Under Funding Cuts

The Onion

SeaWorld Visitors Delighted By Live Garbage-Patch Feeding

The Onion

Washington Monument Collapses After Someone Pulls Loose Block

The Onion

DEA Classifies Red Wine As Schedule I Drug To Spite Ex-Wife 

The Onion

Trump ‘Not Joking’ About Seeking Third Term

The Onion

Attorney General Seeks Death Penalty For All UnitedHealthcare Customers

The Onion

College Campus Tour Ends Inside Unmarked ICE Vehicle

The Onion

Highway Patrol Officer Asks Pete Hegseth To Carry Out Drone Strikes In Straight Line

The Onion

Guy Ordering Nonalcoholic Beer Has Either Seen A Ton Of Shit Or No Shit At All

The Onion

Only Bag Of Chips Big Enough For Funeral Reception Says ‘Party Size!’ On It

The Onion

COBRA Extension Lets Terminated Employees Continue Raiding Office Fridge For 18 Months

The Onion

Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich

The Onion

White House Correspondents’ Dinner Scraps Host In Favor Of Terrified Silence

The Onion

Dietary Restrict-Funs

The Onion

Kermit The Frog To Deliver University Of Maryland Commencement Speech

The Onion

Pentagon Cuts All Employees With Weak Jawlines

The Onion

Ex Run Into While Stalking Other Ex

The Onion

Man Spends Afternoon Volunteering Opinions About The Homeless

The Onion

Tips For Keeping Backyard Chickens

The Onion

Pete Hegseth Calls For Steep Cuts To Number Of Steps In AA Recovery

The Onion