Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Russia Fines Google $20 Decillion

The Onion

Election Officials Announce Results Won’t Be Available Until After You Brush Teeth, Put On Jammies

The Onion

Doug Emhoff Forced To Sit In Corner Of Election Party After Getting Too Hyper

The Onion

Confident Jill Stein Goes With Stadium For Election Party

The Onion

Anxious Trump Spends Election Night Watching Old ‘Gilmore Girls’ Episodes In Bed

The Onion

CNN Touchscreen Map Already Covered In Peanut Butter

The Onion

ELECTION ALERT: Still Too Early To Know Which Minority To Scapegoat

The Onion

America Votes In 2024 Election

The Onion

Neuralink Patient Unable To Stop Hand From Voting For Trump

The Onion

Uninformed Citizen Scrambling To Research Last 2,500 Years Of Democracy Before Voting

The Onion

Stressed Nation Asks Obama If It Can Bum 340 Million Cigarettes

The Onion

Single-Band Home

The Onion

Report: High Turnout Traced To Americans Mistakenly Voting On Vending Machine

The Onion

Man Wearing ‘I Vorted’ Sticker Beginning To Worry That Wasn’t Legitimate Polling Place

The Onion

Election Touchscreen Map Takes Deeper Look Inside Key Swing Voter

The Onion

RFK Jr. Demands Secret Service Protection After Finding Cheez-It On Kitchen Floor

The Onion

Morbidly Obese Trump Boys Regret Eating So Many Ballots

The Onion

Tom Brady Breaks Down Exactly Why Jiu Jitsu Instructor Could Never Please Gisele

The Onion

Stars And Strips

The Onion

Georgia Officials Remind Voters To Bring 2 Forms Of Weapon To Intimidate Election Workers

The Onion