Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Trump Announces U.S. Will Relocate Panama Canal To American Soil

The Onion

Department Of Interior Bans Unlikely Animal Friendships

The Onion

Study Finds Human Brain Contains Entire Spoon’s Worth Of Nanoplastics

The Onion

Fired FBI Agent Glumly Suction-Cup-Walks Down Side Of Building

The Onion

Sex Ed Teacher Demonstrates How To Drive Truck Into Abortion Clinic

The Onion

Trump Says Americans Could Feel ‘Some Pain’ From Tariffs

The Onion

Megachurch Conducts Successful Nuclear Missile Test

The Onion

Home Deport Advantage

The Onion

New Preschool Doing Wonders For Mother’s Social Skills

The Onion

Trump Worried Day Working At McDonald’s Will Screw Up Taxes

The Onion

Weak-Willed Man Does Whatever Court Orders Him To

The Onion

Jeff Bezos Changes Washington Post’s Slogan To ‘Love You, Babe’ After Getting Into Fight With Lauren Sánchez

The Onion

Think Tank Called ‘The Himmler Institute’ Assures Nation This All Legal

The Onion

Elon Musk Offers Self $10 Billion Federal Buyout

The Onion

Americans Start Stockpiling Moose Ahead Of Tariffs

The Onion

Technically Woman Gentrifying Land Of Potawatomi People 

The Onion

Man Given 3 Months To Live Spends All Of It Reading Up On How Cool Ninjas Were

The Onion

Court Rules Elephants Can’t Sue To Leave Zoo

The Onion

Karla Sofía Gascón Apologizes After ‘Emilia Pérez’ Resurfaces

The Onion

Trump To Victims’ Families: ‘I’m Doing Everything Possible To Resegregate Flight Schools’

The Onion