Melania Trump Slams Baseless Reports Linking Her To Wrong Wealthy Pedophile

The Onion

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George Lucas Calls Darth Maul To Congratulate Him On Disney+ Series

The Onion

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MLB Rookie Still Can’t Believe The Sunflower Seeds Are Free

The Onion

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Pros And Cons Of Phone-Free Concerts

The Onion

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Nation’s Women: ‘We’re Pregnant!’

The Onion

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Gideon Spencer

The Onion

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Coachella Medical Staff Rush Overly Lucid Man To Emergency Psychedelics Tent

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‘Hot Ones’ Host Begs BTS To Stop Dancing And Try Wings

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Passenger Gives Birth Mid-Flight

The Onion

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State Department Issues Travel Warning For Women Vacationing With Husbands

The Onion

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NASA’s Artemis II Mission By The Numbers

The Onion

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Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees

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Arby’s Reclassifies Their Food As Entertainment

The Onion

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Jean McCarthy and Allison Foster

The Onion

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Only 2 Dead In Bearable Tragedy

The Onion

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‘The Devil Wears Prada 2’ Director Confirms Adrian Grenier Cameo As Corpse On Street

The Onion

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International Chess Federation Adds Race Car Piece

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Converted Church For Yuppie Douchebags

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Evelyn Simmons

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J.K. Rowling Escapes  Insane Asylum

The Onion

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