Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Two Bad Haircuts Flop All Over While Homely Couple Fucks

The Onion

COP28 Attendees Take Turns Posing With Duck From Dawn Commercial

The Onion

Clarence Thomas Swallows Whole Bottle Of OxyContin During Recess In Attempt To Get In On Purdue Settlement

The Onion

Mom Asks If You Still Friends With That One Guy Who Committed Suicide

The Onion

Conservatives Explain Why Football Is Too Woke

The Onion

Supreme Court Rules Anyone Who Had Abortion Under Roe Must Be Re-Impregnated

The Onion

Third-Party Candidate Promises To Fill Whatever Void Still Left Between Centrist Democrats, Centrist Republicans

The Onion

Study: Average American Has At Least 3 People Plotting To Kill Them At All Times

The Onion

Scientists Successfully Teach Mice To Hate Women

The Onion

Endless Shrimp Deal Causes Major Profit Loss For Red Lobster

The Onion

Alpha Male Constipated

The Onion

Taylor Swift, ‘Golden Bachelor,’ And More: This Week In Entertainment December 02, 2023

The Onion

Conservative Fathers, Manifestos, And More: This Week In Local News December 02, 2023

The Onion

Elon Musk In Israel, Henry Kissinger, And More: This Week In Breaking News December 02, 2023

The Onion

Custodian Warns It May Take Months To Remove Cashmere Sweaters From George Santos’ Office

The Onion

Kamala Harris Nervous About Flying On Plane For First Time

The Onion

Unemployed George Santos Stands In Times Square With Sign Reading ‘I Am SpongeBob’

The Onion

Biden Administration Proposes Removal Of All Lead Water Pipes In 10 Years

The Onion

This Week's Most Viral News: December 1, 2023

The Onion

Apartment Surveyed For Best Place To Attempt Cartwheel

The Onion