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The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Taylor Swift Named Golf Magazine’s Club Of The Year

The Onion

Man Has Compulsive Need To Tell Every Waiter How He Used To Be A Waiter

The Onion

Conservatives Explain Why They Refuse To Commit Crimes In ‘GTA’

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Tony Romo Hauntingly Predicts Exact Time And Place Of Jim Nantz’s Death

The Onion

Pay Cuts, Constipation, And More: This Week In Local December 9, 2023

The Onion

Henry Kissinger's Final Interview, Leonardo DiCaprio, And More: This Week In Breaking News December 9, 2023

The Onion

Woman Who Assaulted Chipotle Worker Sentenced To Fast Food Job

The Onion

Hunter Biden Prepares For Court By Drawing Tie On Bare Chest

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Putin Distraught Over Friends Who Keep Dying Under Mysterious Circumstances

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Israel Assures It Doing Everything Possible To Minimize Civilians

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This Week's Most Viral News: December 8, 2023

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Politicians Explain Why Criticizing Israel Should Be Illegal

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Self-Esteem From Finding Well-Fitting Garment Immediately Undercut By Label Indicating Maternity Wear

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Trump Says He Would Only Be A Dictator On ‘Day One’ Of Second Term

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Biden Campaign Tugs At Voters’ Heartstrings With New Ad Showing Candidate Eating All Alone At Olive Garden

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Sturdy Midwestern Gal Shields Rest Of Nation From Gust Of Wind

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Leonardo DiCaprio Tears Fabric Of Universe Apart Attempting To Have Sex With Girl Not Yet Born

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Kevin McCarthy Announces He Will Leave Congress At End Of Year

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Candidates Spend GOP Debate Trying To Hog-Tie Greased-Up Nude Man Representing Woke Mind Virus

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NASA Finds Strong Evidence Of Red On Mars

The Onion