Dwayne
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The Onion
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Vaseline-Covered Trump Reverses TikTok Stance After Getting Into Skincare
The Onion
satire
news
Emma Stone On Phone With Louis Vuitton Customer Service For 4 Hours Trying To Get Refund On Ripped Gown
The Onion
news
satire
Father And Son Enjoy Annual Tradition Of Saying They Should Attend Spring Training One Day
The Onion
satire
news
Zelensky Challenges Putin To Settle Ukraine War On The Dance Floor
The Onion
satire
news
Gen Z Reveals How They Are Meeting People Outside Dating Apps
The Onion
news
satire
Insecure Prick Immediately Talked Into Upgrade
The Onion
satire
news
God Unveils Plans To Bulldoze Heaven For Luxury Condos
The Onion
satire
news
U.S. Navy Announces Plan To Phase Out All Wet Activities
The Onion
news
satire
‘I Wish I Had Your Metabolism,’ Sighs Woman Seeing Garfield Swallow Whole Lasagna In One Gulp
The Onion
news
satire
Daylight Saving Time Takes Effect
The Onion
news
satire
Paul Giamatti’s Lazy Eye Drunkenly Watching Oscars From Corner Of Dive Bar
The Onion
satire
news
Oscar Organizers Worried Guests Can Tell Gift Bags Just Junk They Bought At Dollar Store Few Hours Ago
The Onion
satire
news
Moaning Red Carpet Has Distinct Quentin Tarantino-Shaped Lump Underneath
The Onion
satire
news
U2, Genocide, And More: This Week In Breaking News March 9, 2024
The Onion
news
satire
This Week In Breaking News March 9, 2024
The Onion
satire
news
Sibling Porn, Small Talk, And More: This Week In Local News March 9, 2024
The Onion
satire
news
Jake Paul To Fight Mike Tyson
The Onion
satire
news
Ozempic Maker Triumphantly Announces New Drug That Makes Obese Person Disappear Entirely
The Onion
satire
news
Quiz: Do You Know How To Please A Woman Sexually?
The Onion
news
satire
This Week's Most Viral News: March 8, 2024
The Onion
news
satire