Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

What Trump Will Do On His First Day In Office

The Onion

Pizza Slice Must Be Really Delicious To Be Served From Behind Bulletproof Glass

The Onion

Sobbing Conservationists Announce Atlantic Halibut On Their Own Now After Falling Out

The Onion

Dad Hopes New Neighbor Likes Verbal Altercations

The Onion

This Year’s Cicada Emergence Could Be Largest In Centuries

The Onion

Best Parts Of Trump’s $60 ‘God Bless The USA’ Bible

The Onion

Beta Male On Date Doesn’t Even Try To Murder Woman

The Onion

Nation’s Lapsed College Friends Announce Plans To Mistakenly Text You About Splitting An 8 Ball

The Onion

Trump Warns Of Electric Vehicles Raping, Murdering Americans

The Onion

Coca-Cola Incredibly Hurt Nation Not Going To Try New Flavor They Worked So Hard On

The Onion

U.S. To Update Race, Ethnicity Categories For First Time In 27 Years

The Onion

Finance Whiz Has Over $300 In Bank Account

The Onion

Matchmaker Casually Asks Woman If She’d Be Open To Dating Outside Her Species

The Onion

Best Bios From Dating Apps For The Unvaccinated

The Onion

Subway Admits Chicken And Bacon Ranch Melt Also Sexually Attracted To Children

The Onion

Nation Shudders At Wet Sound Of Roommate Eating Eggs

The Onion

Captcha The Nag

The Onion

Losing All Of His Hair And Becoming Impotent Clear Sign From Man’s Body That He Should Stay In And Play More Video Games

The Onion

Kids Excitedly Shake Easter Eggs Next To Ear To Find Ones Hiding Ham

The Onion

Real Love, Human Wives, And More: This Week In Local News March 30, 2024

The Onion