Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Everyone In ER Bit Off Finger While Holding Sandwich

The Onion

Study Finds Daily Marijuana Use Outpaces Alcohol In U.S.

The Onion

Kristi Noem Forced To Drive 500 Miles Around Tribal Land To Pick Up Dry Cleaning

The Onion

Jerky, 7-Fingered Scarlett Johansson Appears In Video To Express Full-Fledged Approval Of OpenAI

The Onion

Restaurant Check Includes 3% Surcharge To Provide Owner’s Sugar Baby With Birkin

The Onion

Study Finds 63% Of Construction Sites Just Group Of Friends Who Wanted To Play With Jackhammer

The Onion

What It Feels Like To Have ADHD

The Onion

Comedians In Cars Getting Crucified

The Onion

Tips To Increase Your Protein Intake

The Onion

Barron Shows Up On Trump’s Doorstep Claiming To Be His Son

The Onion

Woman Found Living In Michigan Store’s Sign

The Onion

Sex Ed Teacher Demonstrates How To Look Interested As Guy Explains Ultimate Frisbee Should Be Olympic Sport

The Onion

Elvis Presley’s Granddaughter Sues Company Attempting To Sell Graceland

The Onion

Vet Charges $6,000 To Hand Over Gun And Say ‘You Know What You Have To Do’

The Onion

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With JoJo Siwa

The Onion

God Testing Out Potential New Commandment On Mice

The Onion

Disheveled Ben Affleck Sneaks In At Dawn Reeking Of Coffee After Spending All Night At 24-Hour Dunkin’

The Onion

Arlington National Cemetery Boosts Tourism By Adding Zipline

The Onion

Microsoft’s AI Chatbot Will Remember Everything Users Do On Their Computers

The Onion

Doomsday Bunker For One

The Onion