Dwayne
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The Onion
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Study: 93% Of Individuals With One Earbud In Receiving Top-Secret Commands From HQ
The Onion
satire
news
Harvard Announces Free Tuition For Families Making Under $200,000
The Onion
news
satire
Trump Invokes Law Used To Justify Japanese Internment Camps
The Onion
satire
news
Frightened Child Sits Atop Stairs Watching Parents Argue About Ending Of ‘Sopranos’
The Onion
news
satire
New Federal Law Mandates Women Talk With Baby Voice
The Onion
satire
news
4-Year-Old Calls 911 To Report Mom For Eating His Ice Cream
The Onion
satire
news
Report: You Could Just Lose An Arm One Day
The Onion
satire
news
Basic Woman’s Entire Personality Revolves Around Things She Enjoys
The Onion
news
satire
JD Vance Reminded Caddies Not Allowed In Clubhouse
The Onion
satire
news
Port-A-Potty Paraded Around On Flatbed Truck Like Homecoming Queen
The Onion
satire
news
Dejected Schumer Superfan Can’t Believe He Dropped $10,000 On VIP Party Package
The Onion
satire
news
Senile Grandma Tries To Set Up Grandkids With Each Other
The Onion
news
satire
Texas Implements Mandatory 6-Month Quarantine For Anyone Who Has Watched ‘Will And Grace’
The Onion
news
satire
Overdue Library Book Returned After 99 Years
The Onion
news
satire
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Lady Gaga
The Onion
satire
news
Oversized Leprechaun Hat Left At Home On St. Patrick’s Day To Avoid Damaging It
The Onion
satire
news
Stepson Liked With All Of Man’s Heart
The Onion
satire
news
128 New Moons Found Orbiting Saturn
The Onion
satire
news
JD Vance’s French Horn Solo Booed At Kennedy Center
The Onion
news
satire
RFK Jr. Claims Measles Can Be Cured With A Good Concealer
The Onion
news
satire