Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

At No Point While Rewatching Every ‘Planet Of The Apes’ Does It Occur To Man He Might Be Depressed

The Onion

Speechwriters Struggling To Spin List Of Ugly Women Trump Gave Them Into SOTU Address

The Onion

Toxic Masculinity Brought To Jigsaw Puzzle

The Onion

Tyra Banks Says Taking Abuse From Tyra Banks Simply Reflective Of How The Industry Works

The Onion

U.S. Populace Appoints Designated Survivor

The Onion

U.S. Tourists Advised To Temporarily Avoid Shootouts With Mexican Drug Cartels

The Onion

Trump Invites Caucasian Half Of Alysa Liu To Visit White House

The Onion

What To Know About The SAVE America Act

The Onion

RFK Jr. Claims Anti-Protein Extremists Left Head Of Lettuce On His Doorstep

The Onion

NHL Launches $800 Marketing Campaign In Major Push To Attract New Fans

The Onion

God Admits He No Longer Loves Humanity But Is Too Afraid To Leave

The Onion

Mexico To Deploy Robotic Police Dogs For 2026 FIFA World Cup

The Onion

Olympians Showered With Mortadella Confetti During Milan Closing Ceremonies

The Onion

Potomac River Flooded With 240 Million Gallons Of Sewage

The Onion

Alysa Liu Uses Gold Medal To Gauge Ear

The Onion

Trump Suffers Setback Unrelated To Child Rape

The Onion

Aide Wearily Begins 5th Explanation Of Why Trump Can’t Pardon Prince Andrew

The Onion

Dad Urges Daughter To Show Off High School Spanish With Guy On Street Speaking Spanish 

The Onion

Lewis Hamilton Wondering If It Red Flag After Date Keeps Calling Ex ‘Crazy’

The Onion

Buffalo Wild Wings Allowed To Continue Using ‘Boneless’ Chicken On Menu

The Onion