PEACH CREEK, KY—Taking an opportunity to firmly reiterate their stance that it weren’t their intention, America’s simple-minded bumpkins issued a joint statement Monday confirming they don’t mean no harm to nobody. “We don’t wish no ill ’pon nobody, no sir,” said bumpkin spokesperson Billy Lee “Bubba” Toddums, his beefy hands limp in the pockets of […]

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