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The post All About That Lace appeared first on The Onion.

The post Park Gazebo Celebrates 20th Year Without A Sober Person Inside It appeared first on The Onion.

PEACH CREEK, KY—Taking an opportunity to firmly reiterate their stance that it weren’t their intention, America’s simple-minded bumpkins issued a joint statement Monday confirming they don’t mean no harm to nobody. “We don’t wish no ill ’pon nobody, no sir,” said bumpkin spokesperson Billy Lee “Bubba” Toddums, his beefy hands limp in the pockets of […]

The post Nation’s Simple-Minded Bumpkins Announce They Don’t Mean No Harm To Nobody appeared first on The Onion.

After months of mounting pressure, the Democratic National Committee released a draft of its 2024 election autopsy report, which fails to incorporate information from interviews with Biden or Harris and doesn’t use the words “Israel” or “Gaza.” What do you think?

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