Reading List

The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.

Trump Threatens To Defund Beauty Schools That Don’t Comply With MAGA Standards

The Onion

‘My Work Doesn’t Define Me,’ Says Man Who Will Spend 90,000 Hours Of Lifetime At Office

The Onion

Chipotle Planning First Location In Mexico

The Onion

Federal Regulators Hold Celebratory Seatbelt-Cutting Ceremony

The Onion

Study Finds Plants Increasingly Reliant On Gig Workers For Pollination

The Onion

Prison Guards Burn Another Pile Of Used Underwear Sent To Luigi Mangione

The Onion

What To Know About The Real ID Deadline 

The Onion

RFK Jr. Starts National Registry Of Introverts Who Sometimes Get Social Anxiety

The Onion

Fancy Feast Recalls 1 Million Cans Of Food That Cats Just Kind Of Stared At Before Wandering Away

The Onion

Marco Rubio Announces Overhaul Of ‘Bloated’ State Department

The Onion

Vatican Coroner Confirms Eucharistic Overdose

The Onion

Woman On Diet Weighing Out Peanut Butter Like It Hard Drugs

The Onion

Timeline Of Pope Francis’ Life

The Onion

Drake Catches Himself Singing ‘Not Like Us’ In The Shower

The Onion

FDA Issues Passive-Aggressive Reminder That Serving Tongs There For A Reason

The Onion

Financial Experts Recommend Diversifying Portfolio With Multiple Harebrained Schemes

The Onion

RFK Jr. Flushes Nation’s Antidepressants

The Onion

Trump Opens Up Nation’s Aquariums To Commercial Fishing

The Onion

Thrift Store Categorizes Inflatable Birthing Tub As Decor

The Onion

Kristi Noem’s Handbag Containing $3,000 Stolen From D.C. Restaurant

The Onion