Energy company stocks and the price of crude oil surged after the United States captured Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro, with Trump claiming U.S. oil companies would participate in rebuilding the South American country’s energy infrastructure. What do you think?

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HOUSTON—Calling the executive’s demeanor “unnervingly jovial,” company sources confirmed Tuesday that Chevron CEO Mike Wirth sure was in a good mood this week. “Man, normally that guy is a first-rate asshole, so something must be up,” said an anonymous employee, who noted that the typically stone-faced executive had pulled into his reserved parking spot that […]

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WASHINGTON—As he wandered aimlessly through the halls of the U.S. Capitol building, lost Jan. 6 rioter Alex Morris told reporters Tuesday that he was still searching for former Vice President Mike Pence. “Oh my God, how am I back in Statuary Hall again? Where the hell is Pence?” said Morris, tucking a noose under his […]

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