Reading List
The most recent articles from a list of feeds I subscribe to.
FCC To Investigate TV Shows Where The Mom Has Job
WASHINGTON—Saying it had been forced to take action against networks that refused to change their conduct, the Federal Communications Commission announced Monday it would investigate broadcasters of TV shows where the mom has a job. “It has come to our attention that the public airwaves have been used to transmit indecent images of female characters who […]
The post FCC To Investigate TV Shows Where The Mom Has Job appeared first on The Onion.
Tom Holland Wakes Up From Terrible Nightmare Where Jenners Almost Got Him
LONDON—Bolting upright in bed in a cold sweat, actor Tom Holland reportedly woke up from a terrible nightmare Thursday in which the Jenners almost got him. “Oh my God, it was awful—they were bearing down on me, and I screamed and screamed, but no sound came out,” said Holland, who was still trembling as he […]
The post Tom Holland Wakes Up From Terrible Nightmare Where Jenners Almost Got Him appeared first on The Onion.
College Professor Pretty Sure Student Using AI To Refuse Advances
EAST LANSING, MI—Calling the 21-year-old’s replies to his emails and text messages “rote” and “overly formal,” local professor Lowell Sterbenz told reporters Friday he was “pretty sure” student Evelyn Atwater was using AI to refuse his sexual advances. “It really is a shame with these undergrads these days,” said the 63-year-old Sterbenz, an art history professor […]
The post College Professor Pretty Sure Student Using AI To Refuse Advances appeared first on The Onion.
White House Doctor Claims Trump A Perfectly Healthy 9-Foot-Tall 35-Year Old
WASHINGTON—Assuring Americans that a routine medical exam had confirmed the president had no pressing health concerns, Capt. Sean Barbabella, the director of the White House Medical Unit, claimed Wednesday that Donald Trump was a perfectly healthy 9-foot-tall 35-year-old. “After concluding his physical, I can say with confidence that President Trump exhibits normal vitals for a […]
The post White House Doctor Claims Trump A Perfectly Healthy 9-Foot-Tall 35-Year Old appeared first on The Onion.
‘Victens Wemponyaga’ Begins Promising Kendrick Perkins Sentence
The post ‘Victens Wemponyaga’ Begins Promising Kendrick Perkins Sentence appeared first on The Onion.