With its proposal of the first-ever $1 trillion defense budget, the White House has sought a dramatic increase in funding for the armed forces. Here, The Onion breaks down President Trump’s military spending by the numbers.

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Reality television personality Spencer Pratt announced a longshot bid for Los Angeles mayor, with The Hills star vowing to “expose the system.” What do you think?

The post Spencer Pratt Announces Run For L.A. Mayor appeared first on The Onion.

AMAGANSETT, NY—Saying he couldn’t wait for Bravo’s audience to meet the dynamic cast of his latest production, a shaking, wild-eyed Andy Cohen took to Instagram Live Monday to announce he had just greenlit The Real Housewives Of My Attic. “Based on the scuttling and scampering noises I hear coming from up there 24 hours a day, […]

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This otherwise unremarkable home is serviced by a real 10-out-of-10 panty-melting stud of a postal worker. Reference #45823

The post Really Hot Mailman appeared first on The Onion.

THE HEAVENS—Praising the man-made food item as “on par with the real thing,” God Almighty, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, admitted Thursday that imitation crab tastes just as good as the living crabs that He created. “Credit where credit is due—between the pleasant taste and low cost, I definitely don’t hate this,” said the Infallible Architect […]

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